Bear with me, this post is going to be a looooong one.
It was such an amazing feeling to finally be able to hold my
baby girl in my arms. She was finally here and I could not believe it!
After the doctors held her up and we were able to hear her
weight and height they began to take the placenta out. This feeling I will
never forget!
It started to feel like my doctor was putting his hand all
the way up to my lungs! I remember looking over at Zack and the anesthesiologist
and saying, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!”
The anesthesiologist was amazing and kept telling me that
everything was okay, that I was doing great! But I kept insisting that I couldn’t
breathe (I literally thought I was going to die). But after what felt like 3 minutes (was actually
30 seconds) the doctor was done and they began to stitch/staple me back up
(stitched on the inside, stapled on the outside).
After the C-section was over they wheeled me into a recovery
room where I could not wait to hold my little girl! It was close to midnight at
this time and my mom & sister were still at the hospital waiting to see
baby! The nurses were kind enough to let them sneak a peak in the recovery room
so they could take off for the night.
In the recovery room they let me know I had a pretty bad
fever (from an infection). I was FREEZING and shaking (from being cold and the
epidural) and asked for a blanket but they wouldn’t give me one because of how
bad my fever was (I think it was a lot worse than they were telling me). I just
kept asking for a little blanket even just a little corner on my feet and they
kept saying no. L
haha
After a few minutes they finally wheeled my little girl in
and I was able to hold her! That was one of the most amazing moments in my
life! You go all those months dreaming about what your baby is going to look
like and here she is, in your arms and you can’t put into words the feelings
that rush through you.
I instantly told Zack she looked like him. And I put my
finger in her hand and she grabbed on to it. I’d been dreaming of that moment
for months as well.
I held her for a little while and then it was Zack's turn. I
could tell he was nervous and a little grossed out (she still had blood on
her). Haha It was such a special moment to watch your husband become a daddy
and together, in a matter of minutes you become a family of three. I pray those
memories never fade.
They finally wheeled me back to my room after my fever
started to go down. I remember begin in no pain at all just really thirsty, and
again they wouldn’t let me have anything (wanted to make sure I didn’t throw
up). And after a VERY long day Zack and I went to sleep.
10-15 minutes later they came in and woke me up to feed O
and give me some ice chips to suck on. Ice chips that tasted like they were
sent straight from heaven I was so thirsty. Haha
Oaklee was a natural at breastfeeding and latched right on
and ate her little heart out. I was so relieved that it was so simple. I was a
bit nervous for that part.
That night we all slept great.
The next day our families came out to visit and see Oaklee.
She also got her first bath and we were able to dress her up in a cute little
outfit.
The next morning the doctor came in and said the morning
checkup on Oaklee didn’t go to well. They noticed her breathing had become
rapid and he ordered an x-ray and would be back to give us an update but that
for now she would need to stay in the nursery. Zack didn’t think too much of it
and thought that everything would be fine. After all, she was doing so great
the day before.
A little while later the doctor came back to let us know
that they found a small hole in Oaklee’s lung and that it had begun to collapse
(technical word for this is pneumothorax)… They also noticed that her blood
cells were showing that she was getting an infection. And to top it off they
thought the infection was from inhaling meconium. Zack and I were left really
confused and not sure how to feel…
Later that afternoon we were allowed to go in the nursery to
see her. That was really hard for me… To see our little girl hooked up to so
many machines and having to have an IV. I cried and Zack kept telling me it was
okay, and to stop crying (he isn’t very good with people crying).
We were told that Oaklee would need to stay in the hospital
for another few days to make sure her lung was healing and that they could
finish the full round of antibiotics. Honestly I remember feeling devastated
that something was wrong with my baby. I hate when things don’t go as planned
and it was hard to take in that we wouldn’t be able to take our baby home when
we thought we would.
Luckily the hospital was AMAZING and gave us a room on “hotel
stay”, which meant that they would give us a room to stay in, for free! That
took such a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that I would be close to
Oaklee through it all.
A few days had passed and the doctor came in daily to give
us an update and everyday it seemed like nothing was improving. He said the hole
was healing, but slower than they thought and the infection was staying the same.
They had tried to take her off Oxygen to see how she would do and she kept
failing the tests, so the nursery she stayed. He let us know that she would need a few more
days.
Since we stayed at the hospital they called me every time
she was hungry to come down to the nursery and feed her. (She was still able to
breastfeed, thank goodness. Having that time with her made everything feel a
little better). That ringtone on that phone in the hospital will forever haunt
me. Haha Sometimes I hear people have it as a ringtone on their cell and it instantly
gives me chills.
As far as recovery went for me, I was starting to feel the
pain of everything hit me at once. It was really hard to get out of bed and
walk down to the nursery several times a day but they let me know walking was
the best thing I could do. Getting out of bed and standing up felt like an
elephant was sitting on my chest and I could not breathe! I was gasping for air
every time. Zack would look at me like I was crazy! It would take me a minute
or two to finally catch my breath. The worst part of it all was I felt like I
had to poop sooooooo bad (like you have no idea how bad) and I just couldn’t.
It was the worst feeling in the world. Haha (tmi?) I believe three days after
my C-section they came in to take out my staples. It felt like a little bee
sting, not bad at all until they noticed that my skin had grown over one of the
staples. I can’t even begin to explain how painful getting that out was. That
and the poop pain were worse than labor. Not even kidding.
Back to Oaklee. The antibiotics were finally finished (at
this point we had been in the hospital for a week and one day) and the last
update we heard was that she would most likely be able to go home once they
were complete. At this point Zack had been going to work during the days but
spending the night with me and making sure I had food. Zack is a pretty closed
person and doesn’t do well in situations like this (I don’t think anyone in his
family took what was going on very well. We all wanted answers and weren’t
really getting them) so work became his safe place.
The day had finally come and we were ready to see how she
did off Oxygen so that we could finally go home and begin our life! The doc
came in and said she had failed the oxygen test again and that he wanted to
keep an eye on her a little longer… We weren’t going home.
I was crushed. I had spent what felt like an eternity in the
hospital and wanted to go home! The next few days were hell. I started to come
down with a cold (I believe from literally doing nothing but sitting in a bed
all day) and everyday Oaklee kept failing every oxygen test they gave her. Now
it was coming up on two weeks and they let us know that more than likely they
would be sending O home on oxygen because that was the only thing holding her
back. This wasn’t ideal but we were happy to be able to take our baby home. The
only thing was Oaklee needed to pass the car seat test.
She needed to be able to spend 30 minutes in her car seat
without her oxygen dropping and we would be able to go home! I was honestly so
nervous for this because she had failed all the other tests and when I was in
the nursery feeding another family’s baby had just failed the test and they
were upset that they wouldn’t be going home. I didn’t want to feel that
disappointment anymore.
They planned on doing the car seat test that afternoon
during her nap. 30 minutes had passed and the phone rang… Oaklee passed the
test! I was so grateful that we were going home!! The home and hospice came to
show us how to use the oxygen at home and in the car. We packed up our stuff
and buckled up our little girl and were on our way! I remember stepping outside
for the first time in 2 weeks and noticed the trees had blossomed.
It was the greatest feeling in the world to drive off with
your baby. We were finally able to take our baby home and start our life
together. The first few days were stressful with the oxygen and I have to admit
that I checked to see if she was breathing a million times a day but I was
grateful to hold and snuggle her at home.
Oaklee spent another 2 weeks on oxygen and then was cleared
to finally come off (the day she came off of oxygen I checked to see if she was
breathing 2 million times). Haha Oaklee is doing amazing now! She is such a
happy baby and enjoys smiling at everyone! She is so smart and independent! She
is such a blessing and I am so thankful she is okay. She’s a strong little
girl.
I on the other hand didn’t heal how I wanted to. I have diastasis
recti and melisma on my stomach (I will do another post on how I am overcoming
this). But it doesn’t matter much to me because I got my little Oakers (her
nickname) out of it. She is the light of my world and I could not imagine life
without her beaming smile. Zack and I love her to pieces!
I wanted to say Thank you to everyone who helped us during
this time. Family, friends and hospital staff. You made it so much better and
the kind and encouraging words and visits really meant the world to us. So
thank you again!
Until next time.
Love Always,
The Crazy Collards
