Through Good Times & Bad

My husband has another blood clot.

I am still in denial and I don't understand why or how it happened...

If you've been keeping up with his story you know that we just got out of surgery number two, 2 weeks ago to have his first rib removed. Doctors believed that his collar bone and rib were to close together so the vein that runs in-between the two bones (subclavian) wasn't getting the blood flow it needed, which was causing the blood clots. (So they thought)

We spent 3 days in the hospital.

Three incredibly painful, long days in the hospital.

Zack was in so much pain after this surgery it was hard for me to watch him. It was hard to watch my husband cry out in pain for days and not be able to do anything for him.

I am a worrier (if that's even a word). I worry and stress over every little detail of my life... And sometimes it gets a little too much for me, and I feel like I am being such a horrible, selfish person for thinking that it is too much for ME.

Because all the doctor visits, the hospital stays, the tests, the bills... it's not happening to me.

It’s happening to my husband.

To the person I hold so close to my heart.

And it hurts.

To know that he is going through something that he doesn't deserve, it hurts knowing that I can't do anything to help him and it hurts that every time life seems to be going great, I have a constant worry in the back of my mind that something bad is going to happen. That something bad is just around the corner.

I know we don't have it near as bad as some people but it's hard and I always wonder why him?

I pray that everything will be okay and that we can get back to a point in our lives where we don't have to worry about any of it. That it will all be a thing of the past.

But for now I’ll continue to be by his side through it all. And I'll continue to cherish life because you never really know what tomorrow brings.

I know everything will work out and I know God has a plan for us.

I just wanted to give a quick update to let you all know why I have been mia for a few weeks. I will be getting back into everything this weekend. Thank you for understanding.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Love Always,

The Crazy Collards